Chapter 9
Sophie asked why I never visited.
Children have brutal timing.
She asked while sitting on the floor of my study eating crackers.
Nora went still.
I crouched beside her.
“Because I thought your mommy didn’t want me to.”
Sophie frowned.
“Why?”
“I was told that.”
“By Grandma?”
I looked at Helena across the room.
“Yes.”
Sophie considered this.
“She lies a lot.”
One capo coughed to hide something that might have been a laugh.
Helena looked furious.
Sophie continued.
“Mommy said you were dead.”
“I know.”
“Were you?”
“No.”
“Did you know I was alive?”
That was harder.
“Yes.”
Her little face changed.
Nora watched me carefully.
I continued before fear could turn it into another lie.
“I knew you existed. But I thought I wasn’t allowed to see you.”
Sophie frowned harder.
“You’re my daddy.”
“Yes.”
“You can see me.”
Simple.
She had just exposed the stupidity of three years of adult manipulation.
I almost smiled.
“I know that now.”
She held out a cracker.
I took it.
Apparently the interrogation was over.
Later, Nora found me alone.
“She’s going to ask harder questions when she’s older.”
“I know.”
“What will you tell her?”
“The truth.”
“All of it?”
“When she can understand it.”
Nora nodded.
Then:
“Don’t turn Helena into the only reason.”
I looked at her.
“She is the reason.”
“No.”
Nora’s voice stayed calm.
“She is why we were lied to.”
Pause.
“But you are why you accepted distance without checking.”
It hurt because it was true.
Nora continued.
“I need you to know the difference if you’re going to be Sophie’s father.”
I stared at her.
Power had taught me to solve betrayal by finding the traitor.
May you like
Parenthood was apparently going to require something worse.
Finding the part of the failure that belonged to me.
